Let me introduce myself
Hi there, I'm Amy Coskun also known as SlaapkopAmy,
I'm a transgender, from male to female, with autism and complex PTSD.
I was born on Thursday 18th of June 1998, so I'm 24 years old.
As one of my main hobby’s and something I really like to do is gaming, and sometimes I stream live on Twitch. Also I like to do techy stuff like server management and PC building.
As for now I don’t have a job because of my untreated complex PTSD…
Since around the time that I was 8 or 9 years old I got the feeling that there was something wrong with me. I knew already for years I was different then other people around me but around that time I got the thoughts what if I was a girl. I didn’t really do anything about it then, I kept it on the side in my life. As in 2021 I know now why I didn’t do much about it back then but I also lived in a bad neighborhood back then. Most people in that neighborhood didn’t accept LGBT people and probably it’s still going on these days.
Around December 2012 I did my first coming out to a friend about me being a transgender, but it didn’t go that well… After this I started to doubt about it, if I’m transgender and other things. I started to search a lot of things on the internet, reading all sort of things, some of which could be dangerous for me at that age. I was around the age of 13 / 14 years old back then. It also put me further in my depression back then, which caused me not to go to school or even get myself out of bed. There where literally people saying I was addicted to gaming, but that wasn’t the case.
In this period of depression I wasn’t accepting myself as transgender or anything else I thought what I was. I was thinking that I was Bisexual but that wasn’t the case, even though I liked some boys back then… This has a reason because of my dark history.. (The blog post Personal matter covers this).
Thanks to an old friend I was not feeling “alone” in the world anymore. This friend was feeling the same the same thing and they told it to me, expect it was the other way around, from female to male. Thanks to them it was okay to be transgender.
In end 2013 I registered myself on the website called “Jongenout.nl” it’s a Dutch LGBT website for people under 19 years old. On that website I met amazing people, a few people on that website I still have contact with. Thanks to this platform I could get myself out of the depression and willing to do a coming out in public for everyone as transgender. I stayed on this platform for 5 years until I got toooo old..
Mid 2014 around May / June I did my second coming out very unplanned to a best friend of mine. This was in the week we had a workweek with school to Köln – Germany, I just said to him that I wanted to be a girl and he reacted really supportive to it. So after that I took the risk and did a “safe” coming out to multiple close friends. Some of them are just stupid assholes and told other people or the still call me to my dead name and using he/him pronouns. These kind of people I dumped in the trashcan.
January 2015 I did my 3rd coming out to my whole class. After this I did a public coming out to almost everyone expect family (aunts/uncles/cousins) this has multiple reasons one of them being I don’t have contact with them. I’m not sure if I got some hate back then, but being honest I really don’t care. People have broken the contact with me after I said that I was transgender and being honest I don’t want them in my life.
October 2016 I got the referral from my doctor to register myself to the VUmc (gender clinic in Amsterdam). Only thing I didn’t know what to do or how to register myself until February 2017 where I saw on the website needed to send the referral to their address. It took around 3 or 4 months to get me a conformation that I’ll be getting treated by them.
December 12th 2017 I got my intake by the VUmc and they confirmed that I have gender dysphoria. From the intake to actually treatment it took 6 to 7 months, while they said 6 weeks.. So yeah I started the progress on 29th June 2018. On December 12th 2019 I got a conformation call that I was allowed to take the hormone treatment.
On January 20th 2020 was the first day that my new progress started, the hormone treatment. It was a lot of talking and getting all sort of kind information from my body like my weight and blood values, but it is definitely worthy.
In February 2020 I changed officially my name and gender on the official government papers and databases. I changed from my deadname to Amy :)
My Community Build
I’m building a community named “Army of Sleepyheads” in Dutch it would be like “Leger Der Slaapkoppen”, I run this community mainly via Discord. My Discord server is for my Twitch livestreams but also for close friends and friends over the globe :). If you want to talk with me you can find me in my Discord server pretty much 24/7 the invite link you can find in the footer of the website or just press on the pink Discord.
You can also find my community on social club from RockstarGames for the games GTAOnline and Red dead Online. You can also find us on Steam, but keep in mind we are kind of new on Steam.
I’m also active in other communities on Discord and also offline communities.
For the other Discord communities I’m active in “Tech’s Plugin Support” if you are into Minecraft servers building and management then you probably heard about the Discord. Why am I even mentioning it? Since I’m active in the Discord server for like 2+ years I think it’s worthy to mention it. :)
For the offline community I’m active around “AutiRoze” It’s a Dutch organization for LGBTQIA+ people with Autism. They are also active online but I’m a regular visitor of “AutiRoze Rotterdam”, so they are really helping me with coming through my days. :)